


What Did You Expect With A Mouth Like That?

by MonsterTesk



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: And he's totally cool with that, Car Sex, F/M, It's not hookering if there's no money involved, M/M, Multi, Oral Sex, Stiles Stilinkski is the town slut, digital stimulation, geeky seduction, sex for things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-16
Updated: 2012-07-16
Packaged: 2017-11-10 01:44:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/460860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MonsterTesk/pseuds/MonsterTesk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles is totally the town slut. He knows it, the town knows it, Derek doesn't know it. But he'll find out soon enough.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Did You Expect With A Mouth Like That?

**Author's Note:**

> Because I'm sick as fucking shit of seeing stories where Stiles is this total big virgin and Derek is like this suave know-all about sex. Also because fuck you, that's why.

The first time it happens Derek is willing to pass it over as some sort of freakish coincidental one-off.

  
What happens is that they needed to break into the city hall and steal some files that have some information that was vital to figuring out what the Argents were up to. The problem had been that the only way in was past the night clerk, a surly looking young woman. Derek had told Erica, Boyd, and Stiles to wait while he distracted her. Stiles had shook his head with lots of ‘no’s and said he’d take care of it. Derek had doubted Stiles’ ability to get the job done and broadcasted such doubt with raised eyebrows and crossed arms.

  
“I’d say let him do it. Stiles has ways,” Boyd had said and Derek’s mouth had pinched even farther in disbelief. Erica had nodded solemnly in agreement.  
“Great, well, I’ll get on that and you three wait until I draw her away.” Stiles had flailed away before Derek could say no. He sighed and leaned against the car outside and fixed his eyes indoors.

  
Stiles saddled up to the desk where the woman sat, boredly playing some game on her phone. He watched her raise an eyebrow, Stiles smile, open his mouth.

  
“Hey, Stacy. Long night?”

  
“I can’t let you see anything confidential, Stiles. I’ve told you before.”

  
Stiles leaned his folded arms against the counter.

“I don’t want to see any files but I’d really like to get my eyes on something you keep confidential.”

Derek inwardly groaned because that was by far one of the worst pick up lines he’d ever heard ever. Contrary to _the laws of the universe_ the young woman smiled, leaned forward, resting her arms on the desk, showing off her breasts.

“You know, we almost got caught last time.”

“Entirely not my fault! I’m not the one who couldn’t keep my voice down.”

“You’re the one who told me Larry had cleared out.”

“Well, damn my liar mouth. Maybe you could help me find another use for it?”

Stacy brushed her bangs back from her face and bit her lip. Stiles raised his eyebrows and licked his bottom lip into his mouth. Derek could see the precise moment she caved.

She walked around the desk and grabbed Stiles’ hand. He crowded close to her and did something near her ear that had her giggle and walking quickly towards a door to the side of the desk.

Derek was pretty sure he had just seen the impossible. Erica let out a disgusted noise. Boyd shushed her. They walked quickly into the building, behind the desk, and into the maze of filing cabinets that the city kept its older files in. The entire time Derek kept his ear turned to the sounds coming from, what he assumed, was some sort of supply closet. What he heard was lots of heavy breathing, rustling clothes, and filthy wet sounds he was pretty sure he recognized but refused to figure out exactly what they were.

When they got what they needed, they ran outside and waited for Stiles. Derek occupied himself with reading the file while they waited, trying hard not to hear the louder and more frequent noises coming from that closet.

When Stiles eventually came out, he was wiping something off his hand onto his jeans. Even in the dark Derek could see the wet smear he left and the gleam of… fluids over his mouth and jaw. He was followed out of the closet by Stacy- her hair messed up and a dazed look on her face, her legs were shaky when she went to sit back down behind the desk.

``

The next time it’s at the hospital.

They really need to get some sedatives and antibiotics and a wealth of other things from the pharmacy because of reasons involving Scott and Allison and Derek is seriously considering taking them both out to pasture and shooting them because they are deeply, deeply, _and freakishly_ , codependent. The problem is is that the door into the pharmacy has a keypad and no one has the combination or an employee badge to get in.

Derek is precisely point-oh-three-seconds from ripping the damn door off to be done with it when Isaac suggests they ring up Stiles for help. Derek says something about not seeing how Stiles could be any help but with the way Isaac looked at him he begins to think that maybe he missed the damn memo on the scrawny hyperactive teen because everyone else _in the entire fucking town_ seems to know something he doesn’t about him.

He glares at Isaac but calls Stiles anyway.

Stiles doesn’t know the combination to get in and points out that they need both the card and the numbers anyway so even if they got one they couldn’t get the other. Derek starts charging at the door because they don’t have all fucking night but Stiles stops him and tells Derek that he’s got this and to not worry and let the Stiles-inator take care of it. Derek crosses his arms and glares at Stiles until he walks around the corner to the service window for the pharmacy.

“Pharmacy Josh! How’s my favorite pharm tech?”

Derek watches in the mirror as Stiles slides up to the counter.

“I can’t give you extra adderall, Stiles. That last time they nearly caught me.”

Stiles grins and leans against the counter. Derek watches blankly as he reaches a hand through the window and does something to ‘Pharmacy Josh’ out of the mirror’s line of site.

“I’m sure there’s something else we could do that would keep me focused.”

Derek would really like to know where Stiles learned to flirt because he could almost swear that he has some sort of formula that he uses. Derek wouldn’t put it past Stiles to be such a geek.

“Last time I sprained my wrist and I had to buy new scrubs. Can you even _comprehend_ how embarrassing it is to go up to Delores and ask for a new pair of scrubs shirtless? She still giggles every time I walk by!”

Derek didn’t even want to know what had happened last time. Stiles frowned and reached into the window again. Derek saw that he had pulled ‘Pharmacy Josh’s hand through the window.

“Are you OK now? I didn’t know you got hurt.”

‘Pharmacy Josh’ doesn’t pull his hand back and his voice is soft the next time he talks.

“Yeah, it’s- it’s fine now. No need to worry or anything.”

“How about you let me in and I make it up to you?”

There’s a tense moment where Isaac and Derek stand there, both holding their breath, and Stiles runs his fingers up ‘Pharmacy Josh’s arm, looking intently at the guy that Derek can’t see.

“Yes, OK. Just... you know where the door is. I’ll meet you there.”

Stiles grinned and even though Derek couldn’t see ‘Pharmacy Josh’ he knew the man returned it.

Stiles practically ran to where Derek and Isaac waited by the door.

“Grab it when I go in. I’ll distract him and you guys get what we need, OK?”

Derek briefly wondered how in the hell so many people in town were not only OK with fucking a sixteen year old spazz but seemed to do it regularly. When the door opened, Stiles grabbed it and swung it wide open before lunging into the room. Derek caught the door and attempted to ignore Stiles as the teen pushed what looked to be a very attractive man in blue scrubs against a wall and ravaged his mouth. Isaac and Derek gathered what they needed quickly and quietly before crouching down behind a cart near the door and waiting for Stiles to finish.

Derek really hoped he wouldn’t have to make it a habit of hiding some place while Stiles finished having sex. It really was not how he liked to spend his nights and it emphasized how pathetic his sex life was compared to Stiles’ _of all people._

Instead of listening to the sounds of Stiles fucking Derek concentrated as hard as he could on reading the instructions for emergencies that were pinned next to the door.

Vaguely, he realized that the reason Stiles must constantly smell a little bit like sex wasn’t because he was a teenager with a high libido. Well, maybe the being a teenager and having a high libido was part of it but the majority was that Stiles fucked a lot. Like a lot a lot. And if the sounds and smells that Derek could hear were any indication then Stiles was pretty damn good at it, too.

It felt like a small eternity in purgatory before it was over.

“Don’t bother getting up, dude. I’ll let myself out.”

“Y-yeah, alright. I’ll… I’ll just uh… sit here for a little longer.” ‘Pharmacy Josh’ sounded _wrecked_ , like he’d been screaming for hours and it had made his voice ragged and deeper than it had been before. They snuck out unnoticed.

``

The third time it happens, Derek is sure these people must be playing tricks on him.

They’re at an auto body shop where Jackson’s car is being fixed up after he had an accident and they really need to get into the car because Derek is sure that the one controlling him had been in the car at the time. Scott is, as ever, off somewhere with Allison so Derek brought along Boyd, Erica, and Isaac in case Jackson shows up. They’re outside, waiting for the mechanic to leave the garage when Stiles shows up. Derek glares at his pack members. Isaac crosses his arms.

“What? It’s not like we could skulk around here all night, waiting for the guy to leave!”

“So… I take it you peeps need a distraction?”

Derek glares at Isaac, then at Stiles. Then at the garage door they’re all standing in front of. Then back at Stiles one more time in case the message wasn’t clear enough already. Stiles raises his hands in defense.

“I needed to talk to Gary about my Jeep anyway.”

Apparently ‘talk about Stiles’ Jeep’ means have Gary trying to fuck Stiles into the hood of his Jeep.

The Porsche is a bust. They spend the next twenty minutes listening to Stiles get pounded into his Jeep. Derek takes the time to contemplate how this had been for nothing. 

It takes him a bit to recognize the scents coming off of all three of his packmates.

“Are you- are all of you turned on by this?”

“Can’t really blame a girl. Two hot guys going at it like that…”

“It’s, like, an automatic reaction with Stiles.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh, bullshit, Boyd. I saw you not two weeks ago on your knees with his dick in your mouth!”

“ _It tastes like cotton candy and unicorn dreams._ ”

“Ugh. You’re so lucky. I wish he’d have done something with me before.”

“Come on, Erica. You know he’d totally be down for it if you asked him.”

“Does he just… go around town at night asking people for things and having sex with them?”

“Yup.”

“Pretty much.”

“One time he fucked me over the backhoe. It was _awesome._ ”

Derek feels a headache forming between his eyes. There are just things he really didn’t want to know and then there are things that _don’t even make sense_ and this is both of them.  
`

`

A week later Stiles finds Derek in the middle of the woods.

“So, Derek. I’ve got a few questions for you.”

“How did you find me?”

“Like really important questions about werewolves and also, possibly, if there’s time, some questions about vampires cause Mrs. Larson has been looking a bit fangy recently but that’s less important than the werewolf questions.-”

“We’re _six miles_ from the nearest road. How did you even get here?”

“-Right now, anyway. The vampire questions might become a little more pertinent if she looks at me like I’m the last pizza lunchable again cause, wow, do I not want to be some vampire’s caprisun.”

Stiles shakes himself with an exaggerated shiver.

“So yeah, I’d really like you to explain some werewolf things to me because my research, while awesome, can probably be false considering how popular werewolves are at the moment.”

“I didn’t even tell anyone where I was going.”

“Like is it possible to like,” here Stiles gestures and it’s completely lost on Derek. “Wolf out all the way. Like four legs, full body fur, the whole nine tails- not nine tails literally.”

“We’re not even technically _in_ Beacon Hills anymore.”

“That was a bad combination of nine yards and me trying to ask if you ever get a tail.”

They stand there, silently, for a moment, staring at each other. Stiles licks his lips and a light breeze picks up, depositing Stiles’ scent in Derek’s face. Against all possibility, Stiles is _saturated_ with the scents of sex even now. Derek had met _hookers_ who smelled less like fornication than Stiles. Popular hookers, at that. He’d been in strip clubs and porno sets that didn’t have such a thoroughly ingrained scent of sex.

Derek shoves Stiles against a tree. Stiles shouts and flails.

“Why do you always smell like that?”

“Smell like what? Has my deodorant gone off again?” Stiles sniffs his pits as best he can with his arms pinned to the tree. Derek can’t even believe what his life is anymore. He just glares at Stiles until the boy stops sniffing himself. Stiles licks his lips.

“Can I-uh, I mean, not that it isn’t totally hot in its own rights- the whole pinning and glaring thing. You’ve totally got down sexily scary but I can’t feel my arms anymore and this is totally awkward.”

Derek crushes his mouth against Stiles. Who’s still for a few moments before responding, relaxing and kissing back. His arms slide up Derek’s side with an expertise and surety that Derek still doesn’t have.

Later, Derek feels like he really shouldn’t be surprised when Stiles pulls a condom and lube out of his pocket but he is. He is surprised to find himself being the one bent over a low tree branch, bracing himself and trying to push back on Stiles’ teasing fingers.

When he meets up with the pack in the abandoned building they use for training, still dazed (now he knows why they all looked so out of it when Stiles was done with them), he doesn’t even pretend to be embarrassed when Erica shrieks about never getting laid and Boyd pats him on the back, telling him that the first time it doesn't wear off for a few hours but he’ll get used to it enough to be functioning soon. Isaac nods and points out that he’s strong and that he can take it.

Derek doesn’t even care that they can all totally tell that he just got his brains fucked out of him by a teenage boy because he’s too busy making plans to show up in said teenage boy’s room tomorrow night because, yeah, he’s totally willing to give Stiles _whatever he wants_ if he does that to Derek again.


End file.
